NOTE: When angry rants show up here, it means my anger has reared it's ugly head and will not shut up until I get it out - there is your warning. Some may call these type of rants 'pity party rants,' but I counter that I figure out things better this way, even if they are making me angry. So, in short, this is an angry rant. Not your cup of tea? Scroll down to another entry or go to another page.
Patience is a virtue, I know, but sometimes I wonder what I am fighting for? Days upon days of pain while doctors figure out the right drug cocktail for me? I can't turn to food, as much as I am tempted to. My frustration - My anger, I am two weeks and some odd days off of steroids and thought things would be better, my appetite would snap properly back into focus and I can be happy again -
Only to find that my lower legs are swelling painfully now for the past few weeks. I'm nowhere near as heavy as I was, but even when I was at this weight before I never swelled this bad - doc is running tests and I am scared - what if I need surgery? More money down the drain.
I've cried three times today - make that four, damnit.
In other news, a personal victory. After the goading of my mom, I finally went and had my hair cut and styled. I had about given up on it, and some even mentioned buying a wig, but I came out of it with a decent style. I also have been taking a vitamin b supplement called Biotin - it hasn't stopped the Methotrexate related hair loss, but it has slowed it down.
Pam go SMASH,