Meh

There is a picture on my desk at my job. It is of me at a murder mystery dinner theatre show. It is a time where I was happy.

It has been a long time since I blogged here. In short, the reason why is because of illness, day job, switching drugs, and idiotic online pharmacies who wouldn’t know their way around paperwork if it came up and bit them.

Let me make something clear: I am no warrior. I am just a woman who is dealing with rheumatoid disease, the pain, the meds, and the side effects from the meds.

Ah yes, the lovely side effects: weight gain, recurring illness, breathing issues, diarrhea, loss of energy.

It makes finding more to live for in life kind of a drag, really.

Don’t get me wrong, I went into this thinking I would find a regiment that would keep the RA under control. It seems easy enough – I mean thanks to an eye doctor I have a regiment that is so far keeping my eyes in check and hopefully away from recurring eye infections.

It has been a little over two years now, and not much progress. The new drug I recently started I have not even been monitored on yet due to illness, and I have been on this drug now for four months.

This post needed to come out, because it was hurting me keeping it in.

I’ll keep on of course, because what else is there? Meanwhile I think I will go have a good cry and break something, because it has been a long time since I have been happy. Hope? Don’t even get me started.

Meh,
RAmbling Girl